~ACSD~

This past week I went to Indiana for a student development conference.  I had a great time of connecting with my counterparts from the Kirkland campus as well as with others in residence life programs at Christian colleges and universities across the nation.  Though my position is quite unlike any other I've heard of, I came back feeling like I am doing what I need to be doing.  That is actually a two fold statement.  Firstly I finally feel affirmed that I am doing what needs to be done on campus.  Of course I can always get better at the specifics, but as far as the duties of a Resident Director and Assistant go, I am accomplishing what needs to be accomplished.  My job has me in the roles of the RD, the RA, Student Life, and dining services...as well as anything else that needs to be done.  We are a small school and that's just what happens.  I love my job and feel incredibly blessed to be in this position.  Though I will not lie and say that it's all fun and games.  From the outside (to the students) it probably looks like all I do is cook and hang out, and if that were the case, I would never leave this cush job!  Oh, but it involves so much more than just hanging out on campus.  It's the mentoring, the counseling, the discipline process, the coordinating, yes, the cooking 6 or 7 days a week for 15 people, the planning, the organizing, the conflict management, the spiritual battles, my own personal battles, the on call 24/7, the budgeting, having students mad at you and you don't know why or if there's anything you can do about it, etc...it's difficult.  If I were not called to be here, I would be too burned out to return.  And I love my job, but it's not what everyone sees.  By the end of the school year, I need a Summer Sabbath.  Attending this conference was really what I needed after the hard year it's been.  The second meaning is that I am re-affirmed that this is an area that God has me in and has called me to for this time.  I needed that re-assurance.  Not only am I doing what needs to be done for my job, but I am doing what I believe God has for me.  I am humbled every single day in this position.  I know more of my weaknesses now than I ever have before and sometimes it's incredibly heart wrenching to see so many areas where you need to grow and feel like you can never get to where you need to be.  But the truth of the matter is, God is my strength.  I don't always feel that way, but remains true just the same.  I have weaknesses, but it is a lie of the enemy that puts you in a pit you cannot get out of.  Attending ACSD was like a rope being dropped into that pit.  I still have a long way to go, but I saw hope and strength from God...and He brought encouragement from others in a time when I desperately needed it.  I'm still stressed out and have no idea how this next year will pan out with "maternity leave" and raising a newborn added to the mix, but God showed me a bigger picture this week, and it is worth pushing through and pursuing!