~Grief~

Without saying too much, I can say that this weekend was one of the hardest realities I have come face to face with.  It's not my story to tell, but I will forever be affected by it.  For now, I am still grieving and emotionally exhausted.  But I live with the hope of God's eternal promises.  We are living in a world broken by sin, but it has been a comfort to know that when we are hurting and impacted by sin, God grieves with us.  I am so grateful for His grace in the hardest of circumstances and the reassurance that He is more than capable of healing our wounds.  The road will be a rough and long one, but God remains faithful.

~Great Grandma~

I ordered a bib the other day and it finally came in!  When I was ordering it, Donny came out and asked why I was buying a bib online (with the look of "I'm sure someone will buy Jordana a bib...why are you wasting money?"---that's the look I saw anyway :)  My answer was "because it made me cry" and then of course I proceeded to release a few tears.  He just smiled and said "ok".  Many years ago my grandmother died with Alzheimer's disease. Jordana is due in October and November is Alzheimer's Awareness Month. When I saw this bib, and that I could add her name to it, it was like I could help my daughter know her great grandma, even though she is no longer with us.  Jordana would have been her first great grandchild.

~ACSD~

This past week I went to Indiana for a student development conference.  I had a great time of connecting with my counterparts from the Kirkland campus as well as with others in residence life programs at Christian colleges and universities across the nation.  Though my position is quite unlike any other I've heard of, I came back feeling like I am doing what I need to be doing.  That is actually a two fold statement.  Firstly I finally feel affirmed that I am doing what needs to be done on campus.  Of course I can always get better at the specifics, but as far as the duties of a Resident Director and Assistant go, I am accomplishing what needs to be accomplished.  My job has me in the roles of the RD, the RA, Student Life, and dining services...as well as anything else that needs to be done.  We are a small school and that's just what happens.  I love my job and feel incredibly blessed to be in this position.  Though I will not lie and say that it's all fun and games.  From the outside (to the students) it probably looks like all I do is cook and hang out, and if that were the case, I would never leave this cush job!  Oh, but it involves so much more than just hanging out on campus.  It's the mentoring, the counseling, the discipline process, the coordinating, yes, the cooking 6 or 7 days a week for 15 people, the planning, the organizing, the conflict management, the spiritual battles, my own personal battles, the on call 24/7, the budgeting, having students mad at you and you don't know why or if there's anything you can do about it, etc...it's difficult.  If I were not called to be here, I would be too burned out to return.  And I love my job, but it's not what everyone sees.  By the end of the school year, I need a Summer Sabbath.  Attending this conference was really what I needed after the hard year it's been.  The second meaning is that I am re-affirmed that this is an area that God has me in and has called me to for this time.  I needed that re-assurance.  Not only am I doing what needs to be done for my job, but I am doing what I believe God has for me.  I am humbled every single day in this position.  I know more of my weaknesses now than I ever have before and sometimes it's incredibly heart wrenching to see so many areas where you need to grow and feel like you can never get to where you need to be.  But the truth of the matter is, God is my strength.  I don't always feel that way, but remains true just the same.  I have weaknesses, but it is a lie of the enemy that puts you in a pit you cannot get out of.  Attending ACSD was like a rope being dropped into that pit.  I still have a long way to go, but I saw hope and strength from God...and He brought encouragement from others in a time when I desperately needed it.  I'm still stressed out and have no idea how this next year will pan out with "maternity leave" and raising a newborn added to the mix, but God showed me a bigger picture this week, and it is worth pushing through and pursuing!

~Travel Pack and Play~

Feeling extra blessed today!  One of my facebook friends gave me her travel pack and play for Baby G.  I say facebook friend because we may have met once at my parents church (maybe) but when I went to pick it up was the first time we had ever talked in person!  But we communicate over facebook often enough that it doesn't seem that weird!  lol!  And I am really good friends with her in-laws...so there is a connection other than fb...kind of! But what a blessing to have a smaller play yard to put in my office so little one can come to work with me...I don't have much of an option, so this is great :)  Thanks Kora!

I'll try to remember and post a picture here later.

~Driving 101~

Donny took this...I wasn't ready and my shirt  need to retire till after pregnancy :(

The view I didn't show you yesterday

Seaside!

Driving down 101 we stopped at the Cheese factory in Tillamook and...

Stopped in Lincoln city and ate at Mo's...where I ...

...had some fun in the sand!

~Donny's Birthday!~

Mini vacation!  Donny's aunt gave him a one night stay in Seaside for his graduation from Seminary.  And it just so happens to be his birthday today as well!  

We were the only ones in the restaurant.  And service was horrible!  The food was ok though and they had this great little fire right next to us.

The living room at the worldmark where we stayed.

The view from our patio.  You can't see it here, but we could see the ocean to our right.

~Ultrasound~

Well, it's a girl!!!  And a shock to all of us!  The ultrasound went well. It was so good to see her moving around.  I haven't felt her much.  the ultrasound tech said it's because of the location of the placenta.  Baby keeps kicking it instead of me and I can't feel her.  Although I am starting to feel her more, which is quite a relief.  It was just strange to see her kicking and not feel a thing.  But at least she was kicking!  I guess everything looks good and she could come a couple days early according to her measurements.  Oh, man!  She's gonna be a big baby.  Every time we measure her she is measuring older than she should be.  That worries me a little...mainly just because of the delivery.  I'm glad she's healthy though!  They guesstimated that she weighs about 13 oz at this point.  Almost the to pound mark!  I can't believe we are half-way there already!  

Donny and I left the appointment and I just started sobbing!  I'm not sure why, but before the appointment I was really anxious and uptight.  So, afterwards I think I just became an emotional wreck!  It was so good to hear that she appears to be healthy and to hear that she is in fact a "she", that I think I finally let my gaurd down and my only response was to cry!  I asked Donny to drive.  He said sure, but asked why.  I proceeded to tell him I was about to cry hysterically and that I wouldn't be able to see the road!  Lol!  He laughed and gave me a big hug!  I have such a great husband!  

We left the doctor's and went to Babies'R'Us where we bought her first girly outfit.  I forgot to take a picture.  I'll try to post one later.

(We took this picture 2 days later, but it fits here!)

~Crib~

Today is Sunday, May 27th, 2012.  That means it is my best friends birthday!  Happy birthday Leia!!!!  We went to church and then after went with her and some church people to Buffalo Wild Wings...which is slightly ironic, since she is strictly vegetarian!  But  BWW just opened this past week and we were all anxious to try it out!  She was a happy camper cause they have plenty of fried potato and onion options to choose from!  I think I will be making many more trips there (especially while pregnant! lol).

After coming home and falling into a food coma for a couple hours it was time to put the crib together!!!  We picked it up last night and brought it home during torrential downpours!  It was nuts!  I live in Oregon and drive in the rain all the time.  I have NEVER driven in a storm this bad!  I finally pulled over to have Donny drive cause I was getting too tense and it stopped.  I mean no more rain the rest of the drive.   Ugh...

So back to the crib.  Donny and I cleaned it and then he proceeded to put it together.  I grabbed us some dinner and went to town making it look pretty with the bumper and sheet :)  Yay!  I feel like we have a nursery!

~Mission: Baby G~

Today's task was to go to every garage sale in the Salem Keizer Area that might have baby stuff.  Well, I made it to 8 sales (there weren't as many as I was hoping for) but I got some great deals!  Bought the crib mattress for $15, Boppy pillow for $3, 5 crib sheets for $1.25, and a jonny jumper for $3... all of which were in excellent condition.  I have also been looking for a glider or rocking chair for the nursery.  My grandmother had already told me she wanted to buy me one, but I wasn't willing for her to pay full price- those things are spendy!  I had been scouring Craig's List for quite awhile and nothing was turning up.  This morning (6:30 am) I once again looked for updates.  Keep in mind, I had looked at 11 pm the night before, so I wasn't very expectant.  But low and behold someone had posted a glider/ottoman combo at 1 am.  I set up an appointment to go see it at 2 pm and called my grandmother to come with me.  It was in far better condition than I expected!  So we got it and brought it back to the nursery :)  And, mean grand-daughter that I am, I made her sit in it so I could take her picture.  She hates getting her picture taken, but the memory is worth it...to both of us :)  

~Girls Night~

After some much needed vacation and quiet, it was high time I spent time with people.  Us extroverts can only handle so much "me" time before we start getting nutty! So Leia and Amber came over to my parents house and we watched some Big Bang Theory, ate a massive amount of popcorn and talked for several hours.  It was glorious!  Just what I needed :)  Love these ladies!

 

~Dr Appointment~

Had an appointment this morning.  Donny had to work and my mom and sister are on the East Coast, so I invited my grandmother to come with me.  She hit is off with my doctor, since they are both from Oklahoma...though her accent is much thicker.  It was fun for he to come with me.  She has 2 other great grandchildren but they live in Texas.  She got to hear the baby's heartbeat and that was special for me too.  I'm glad that she is around and was able to be part of this moment with me.  Now she has something to share with me that my parents don't even have...hearing the heartbeat.  :)

Also, I received a packet of information on labor and delivery along with the pre-registration for the hospital where I will be having the baby.  Next week I have the ultrasound appointment where we will hopefully find out who is in there!

~Deals~

Fairly productive day.  Got some baby stuff, bumper for $10, peter rabbit for $1, and a baby bathtub for $2.  And in other news, free dinner thanks to a coupon from hubby, free starbucks thanks to my gold card, and cheap movie thanks to redbox deals ($.70).  Also, I got to have girl talk with Leia...which should really be at the top of the list!  So all in all, I feel pretty good about the day :)

Carseat cover

Yay!  My car seat cover came in today!  Hope baby likes it.  Mommy sure does :)

~Vacation Day 7~

Today is our last full day of vacation.  We got a call this morning letting us know that the pool, which has been closed the entire time we've been here, is now open!  So after taking some time at the local coffee place, we ate some lunch and got ready for some time at the pool!  The sad part is that I can't use the Spa now that I'm pregnant.  That's always my favorite part...I did put my feet in for a few minutes though :)  

For dinner we decided to head into town for some pizza.  yum!  We have eaten well this week!  

Me reading and Donny working on his crossword

Ranch Espresso

Lunch

~Vacation Day 6~

Woke up to our amazing friends making us breakfast!  Yummy pancakes and watermelon!  Then Donny and I drove down to Redding for some In-N-Out :)  I forgot my camera back at our place though :(  But when we returned I found these awesome pics waiting for us!  Lol!  Love these guys!  

I did manage to take one picture on my phone.  This is Mt Shasta.  It was so much bigger and prettier in person.  This is also where I realized I had forgotten my camera.

~Vacation Day 5~

Today's Lunch...mmmm.

Dessert after dinner

They put a J on mine.  I feel so loved :)

Late night Killer Bunnies with B and T!

Brock and Tessa came to join us for a few days!  We tried to go bowling but everyone under 30 was there and there was an hour wait.  :(  So we played Killer Bunnies and ate cheesecake instead :)

~Vacation Day 4~

Lunch

Quiet day at the Y.  Well except for the painting crew right outside our windows.  Oh well.  We had some yummy food today and enjoyed each other's company.  Oh and lots of reading :)  

Dinner

~Vacation Day 3~

Today we drove into California to the Lava Beds National Monument.  We were screened for bat disease (lol) and cleared to go caving.  Flashlights in hand we explored 3 caves.  85 degrees outside and 45 degrees (and colder) in the caves was a fun experience.  It was really a quick change in temperature too!  

Once inside the caves we turned off our flashlights to see what we could see...big fat nothing!  We even waited a while so our eyes could adjust.  Nothin'.  

baby and me at the visitor center

2 flashlights...one for me and one for baby!  j/k one was Donny's.

Amazing, since we couldn't see anything!

Donny trekking down to the ice in Skull Cave.  It got cold!

Light at the end of the tunnel! Oh, and my camera's flash where I am standing.

Creepy black Western Fence Lizards.   We found several of them.  Better them than snakes! 

The terrain above the cave.

Lava beds

Stateline Road.  Cali on the Left and Oregon on the Right!

~Vacation Day 2~

Vacation day 2 was spent lounging around our place.  Lot's of reading, exploring what Running Y has to offer, and BBQing a delicious dinner!  It was so tasty!  I was really out of it from the long day of driving so the full day of relaxation was really great.  

Our dinner. 

~Happy Mothers Day!~

Today is my first Mother's Day!  Well, I don't have a lot of experience as a mother, but I suppose I am nonetheless.  We headed out for our vacation this morning and stopped a few times along the way.  Our destination was Running Y in Klamath Falls, OR.  We have a whole week to breathe!  This is such an incredible blessing...and much needed for both of us.  

Our first stop was Eugene, where we shopped at Cabela's and had a yummy lunch at the Roadhouse.  Further down the way we stopped at Salt Creek Falls.  I thought I had been there before but now I'm fairly certain I had not been.  It was beautiful!  Well worth the stop!  

When we arrived in town we picked up some groceries for the week and finally made our destination of the Running Y.  We were floored by how big the unit we are staying in is!  We've both stayed here in the past but we are in some newer units that I've never seen before.  This place is wonderful!  The bathtub would have been more than sufficient to wow me, but the whole space is lovely!  I'm so excited to be able to stay so long and enjoy it!

Salt Creek Falls

Living Room

Our Bedroom

Our Bathroom: spa tub and  huge shower...I couldn't fit the whole bathroom in the picture!

View off our deck.  Looking forward to BBQ!